These tips will enable you to regain your wife’s trust after a betrayal or act of infidelity.
Cheating is bad, so I don’t need to elaborate about its ramifications on one’s relationship.
All people make mistakes, but you can proactively correct them.
In fact, this situation can be considered as an opportunity to improve your relationship. Yes, mistakes were made, but they can be rectified. You can also build an even happier relationship with your spouse, but it will take patience. You need to find other ways to solve problems in the relationship in the future, not merely seeking comfort or excitement in another if you are missing something in your present relationship.
The good news is that most women can forgive and salvage their relationship with a man if the right steps are taken.
Of course, she will be hurt and likely insecure as her trust was betrayed. But her strong feelings for you will enable you the chance to convince her to give you another chance.
What does a woman feel after adultery?
Perhaps she previously felt that you did not treasure her enough? Your cheating likely delivered a strong blow to her self-esteem. Now she feels inadequate and unattractive, so your attempts to hastily restore relations with her will cause her great pain and scrutiny of your true intentions. On one hand, she still really wants to be with you, yet, on the other hand, her pain simply devours her. She will tend to push you away, hurt you, or seek revenge.
Over time, though, your wife will cool off a bit and there will be an opportunity to influence her to trust you again. But at the moment, you just need to leave her alone for a while and let her calm down and process everything.
You shouldn’t talk a lot about the infidelity right now. Instead, just not apologize sincerely for what happened and admit your mistakes.
What should not be done when getting your wife back after you cheated on her:
- You must not constantly apologize and beg her to come back. You may apologize one or more times, but a constant confession of regret will not fix the situation.
- Do not cause jealousy. It will be very stupid to hurt your wife even more.
- Extremely overstate her significance and value. Some men simply become miserable and beg a wife to come back. This act of desperation will probably push her away at some point. Yes, it is important to show that she is valuable and important to you, but do not go too far. Otherwise, you will correct one mistake in restoring your relationship but create another huge mistake.
- Do not divulge the intimate details of your treason. It’s good if she does not know the person you’ve committed adultery with. Do not tell her the nitty-gritty, even if she implores you. You will hurt her, even more, that way!
What can be done to get your wife back?
1) Limit your communication with her. Of course, if you have kids, then you will need to keep in touch regularly. But you should not initiate a lot of communication with her in the initial weeks. She feels terrible now, so leave her alone for a while. And do not beg her to forgive you.
2) Be patient. Remember those adages about time and healing? Well, they are true, so allow her space and time to miss you. Most likely, she still loves you, but she is heartbroken and has mixed feelings now. Any attempts to get her back quickly are doomed to failure. This step depends on how a woman behaves. If she gets in touch with you after a few days and wants to get closer, then take her cue and smoothly start communicating with her. If she does not go towards rapprochement within 3-4 weeks, then you may use a plan below on how to influence your wife to remove the shield and pain that she has now.
3) Do not respond to her attempt to hurt you in return. Your wife may try to take revenge on you by meeting other men. Your task is not to respond to this. Otherwise, she will find a way to manipulate your emotions. She may try to influence them to make you suffer as bad as possible.
4) If she blames you, say that you are sorry, but you can’t change the past. Everyone makes mistakes. We all live and learn from life lessons. You needed that experience to understand how much she is important to you and how stupid it would be to lose her because of your impulsive actions. BUT unfortunately, the past has already happened and cannot be changed.
5) Restore her trust. It takes time and your ability to demonstrate trustworthiness again through your words and actions to restore her trust. It is integral to show your changes for the better. You need to SHOW, not merely use words to validate that you have changed and reiterate that everything will be different.
How to Win Your Wife Back After Infidelity?
Now it is imperative to remove her resentment and create a new, ethical, morally attractive image. This is vital, so she envisions your future relationship as loyal and happy. She must be convinced that you will not hurt her anymore, but will wholeheartedly respect her.
Many men live by the principle of not changing until something strongly compels them to transform. There is a myriad of popular adages, “if the thunder isn’t roaring, the peasant won’t cross himself/ it’s too late to shut the stable door after the horse has bolted/ a ton of bricks upon his head would make him budge and go ahead.” But when the pain is huge and trust is violated, a man should mobilize all resources and solve problems heroically.
Has this happened to you … that in order to make peace with your wife, you try to present yourself as a completely different person? You do your best to prove that you’re a good and wonderful spouse. You exude that everything will be fine, and most likely there will be no more problems …
So, what does all this facade lead to? This type of inauthentic mask typically means that she leaves you forever and says that her feelings have cooled down. Indeed, in such a situation when she does not want to communicate, it is difficult to convince your beloved woman to trust you again.
After all, sooner or later she realizes that she is simply being deceived. She wants to break up because you haven’t changed anything but merely showed a beautiful mask.
Most men say, “Honey, I’ve changed. Everything will be different,” “Darling, you see that I’ve changed and you can trust me again.”
Most wives simply do not believe in this transformation. The maximum resistance mode is activated at this moment in most women’s minds. As it often happens, they may think that they are being deceived and coerced. After all, being in a critical situation, husbands try to do and say anything to fix it. But when the situation is resolved, most husbands relax and forget about their promises. Most likely she has repeatedly heard such kind of false promises from you formerly. At some point, she could become disappointed in such words and no longer take them seriously. Repeating empty promises is pointless. It’s much more effective to show that you have changed yourself using indirect methods of influence.
Indirect methods of influence are special messages that can influence her emotions, convince through her friends and your deeds. Sometimes you can also use social networks to create your new attractive image. For example, you decided to lose weight and wrote about it on a social network, and after 2 weeks you lost several lbs. Then when you uploaded your new photo, you can use it as evidence of changes.
If you have a difficult situation, then write comments. I will respond as soon as I can.
You can see a more detailed plan on getting your wife back after an affair in this video: